So I have been writing M’s birth story and when I got to my
8th page in the Word document I determined that no one besides me
cares THAT much about the birth of my daughter. I present you with the short
version. It’s still long. And it’s a story about birth. Fair warning.
It’s been
one week and 5 days since M joined us in the big world. Things are pretty good.
We’re starting to get a feel for each other and I have processed her birth. I
know each birth is different and special, they tell you that. But I was
under-prepared for how drastically different M’s birth would be from her
brother’s.
On October 21 I was 41w2d and I was done. I had done
everything the interwebs tells you can possibly induce labor except the castor
oil. I had my freak out moments. I had my calm prayerful moments. And I knew without
a shadow of a doubt that she was coming the next day. (October 22.) When I realized
a week prior that it would be Saint Pope John Paul II’s feast day I just had a
sense of peace about it. It didn’t stop me from trying to make the baby appear
sooner, but I knew.
I went to my appointment. I got my marching orders to report
to the hospital at 5:00 that night for Cervidil and we’d start Pitocin in the
morning. I got home about 11:30 and spent the rest of the day doing final
cleaning, packing, phone calls and generally getting more and more excited. At
one point I felt a contraction. Not a super painful one but enough that I
noticed it. We joked that now that we had threatened her with an immediate
eviction she was going to do things her own way. After a busy afternoon we headed
out for the hospital. We got there and had to go around the block to park
because of construction. We laughed because we totally botched the hospital
arrival with C too.
We checked in, got to the 5th floor and settled into our
room. We did the whole blood sample and hep lock placement thing. Dr. Aronson placed
the Cervidil at about 5:45 and I had apparently, since 10:00 that morning,
dilated to a 2 and was 50% effaced. Not bad for feeling only one contraction. *This
should have been a hint* Dr. Aronson was off and wished us good luck. She was
on call from 7:00 AM Tuesday to 7:00 AM Wednesday so Dr. Steinus was going to
be starting my Pitocin.
After we did the million questions and sign your life away
portion of the evening we were left alone to marinate if you will. We watched
TV, ate contraband sandwiches, chatted and just hung out. What else is there to
do? At 10:15 my nurse Michelle came back in to offer me an Ambien. Our doula Char had
recommended taking it to get good rest. We turned off the lights and it was
rest time. I sent my mom a text message that I had taken my Ambien at 10:51,
she told me to get some rest because I would need it.
Boy howdy.
Shift change was at 11:00. At 11:15 our new nurse Cim came
in to meet us, at that point I decided to really try and sleep so she let us
be. Husband was reading a book on his computer and turned on Gilmore Girls for
me to listen to as I fell asleep.
At 12:50 on October 22 I woke up and I was not feeling well. I hurt and did not want to stay in the bed hurting. I called Cim to come in and
let me off the monitors to use the restroom. When I was finished she put me on
the wireless monitors so I could move around. I got my wish to labor in my own
clothes and ditched the gown so I was in my shorts and a sports bra. Good move
on my part. Hospital gowns are the worst.
Char had asked us to call when we were feeling contractions
and needing help getting through them. Around 1:00 I asked Husband to call
Char. He told me we should wait until 1:30. He was basing this on C’s super
long labor where I wasn’t far along and begging for the epidural. For the next few contractions I paced around
and sat on the bed. I didn’t like that. So I kept moving.
I went through pretty much every position I could think of
to labor in. I tried sitting on the rocking chair, cats and cows and leaning
over the bed with counter pressure on my back. Husband suggested I lean on him.
I did that for a few contractions. Husband says my back felt really tense and
shaky when he pushed on it.
At 1:19 I forced Husband to call Char. I knew I needed help
and that was the point of a doula. She told Husband she’d be there in 15-20
minutes. We dealt with a few more contractions while I leaned on Husband and I decided
I would like an epidural. I went to sit on the toilet because I didn’t want to
stand anymore but sitting hurt.
Char came while I was on the toilet. It was 1:30. I felt
very erratic. I did not want to be in one place for very long. I told her I was
going to be a bad doula patient because I wanted the epidural and she laughed.
She said some sort of encouraging type of thing about getting through the
current contraction and then we’d talk about it.
Husband asked Char about the birth ball. She went and got
one and I sat on it and leaned on the bed. I was using my moans during
contractions. Husband was consistently telling me not to tense up. (Probably should have heeded that advice a
little more.) Both Char and Husband were very good at encouraging my vocalizations
because that meant I was not fighting the contractions. In the breaks between I would ask for the epidural and they would talk me down from
that just in time for the next one to start back up.
At some point I expressed my disdain for the monitor because
I was really hurting and the monitor was still barely showing contractions at
all. Char told me not to worry about that but I was pretty darn sure I wanted
an epidural and thought they wouldn’t let me get one if I wasn’t in real labor.
Oh how funny that was.
I was HOT. Husband had wet a washcloth and that felt good so
Char went to fill one of the puke buckets with ice water. I liked my cold
washcloths during the contractions especially.
My original goal going into the birth was to make it further
in the laboring process before getting an epidural and that’s why I wanted a
doula. Husband thought a doula was kind of unnecessary but is a “Happy Wife
Happy Life” kind of guy. I was going to try and make it to a 6 before getting
an epidural.
I really really wanted the epidural. In the peak of each
contraction I had gotten to the “I can’t do this” stage. Char suggested we call
the nurse to check me so that we could see where we were. At 2:00 I was checked
and was 4 cm/80%/-2 and water bag intact. I asked if that meant I could have an
epidural. I did not care about my 6cm goal anymore. When they told me I could
if I wanted I said that I needed fluids and offered my arm with the hep lock to
her. Char told me I was a good patient. I am quite certain that Cim already
knew I needed fluids but who’s going to argue with the crazy lady in labor?
Cim went to get the bag of fluid. While she was hanging the
bag everything changed and I started, for lack of a better word, grunting with
contractions. It was that whole “I need to poop” feeling. I didn’t say anything
though, just kept grunting with the contractions. Husband describes it as a guttural
scream. Because of that she said, “uh I better check you again.” At 2:03 I was
checked again and was 7 cm. They called for Dr. Aronson to come in at 2:04.
This is where it gets crazy and hazy.
Because of the change in contractions the IV wasn’t hung
right and I was getting wet. I said something and someone fixed that. Husband
broke the news to me I wasn’t getting the epidural and that there wasn’t time
for that. So I asked for the narcotic. Apparently Cim started for the narcotic
but decided to change the bed over. I wasn’t doing a very good job of
convincing anyone that pain medication was the most important thing I guess.
They made me get out of bed so they could turn it into the
delivery bed. Husband assisted with that. A bunch of extra nurses came in. Like
way more nurses than I remember from last time. Including Lani who was our
nurse with C. I didn’t even mention it at the time and I wish I had. There was
also a funny Asian nurse. I have no idea how they were called. I haven’t a
clue.
When I was allowed back on the bed all the nurses and Char (a former L&D nurse) asked if I was
pushing. I was but I didn’t know it. Then they told me not to push. Char told me to
blow like I was blowing out a candle. Husband made me look at him and blow on
his fingers. I just stared at him and sometimes I blew. Mostly I didn’t. And
then there was a baby.
No really. Just like that. Apparently at 2:12 M arrived, was
caught by Cim who broke the water bag with the delivery of her head. She had a
nuchal chord wrapped once around. Husband looked down and they were cutting the
chord and they put her on me. I didn’t have her for very long. She cried for
the first time while on my chest. They whisked her away to the warmer. She was in shock. I was in shock. Husband was
in shock. We had both completely missed it. M got a 7/9 APGAR. She spent a lot of time on the warmer because
her body temp was low.
Dr. Aronson arrived at some point and delivered the placenta
at 2:35. This was the weirdest part of the whole birth process. They told me to
push and I didn’t know how. Even though I had just had a baby. Because my mind
wasn’t pushing, it was a completely physical response. So when they needed me
to push I couldn’t even do it.
I got some Pitocin. I don’t remember that exactly. I don’t
know if that was before or after Dr. Aronson got there. I would assume it was
after. I also don’t know if it was because of bleeding or to help deliver the
placenta. We can blame the hormones, the shock and the Ambien for my lack of
clarity. The placenta was intact and healthy and I didn’t tear at all. I did
however feel like I had been hit by a truck.
At some point they gave my baby back to me. She nursed. I
ate too. I showered. We moved to postpartum by 5:00 am. Then we stayed our 2
days and went home.
It was kind of an unreal birth in many ways. Ideally my
doctor would have been there but that didn’t happen. Some people have been
annoyed for us that she wasn’t there. But really who would have anticipated
that the people who were just supposed to be sleeping would up and have a baby
in the middle of the night?
Husband was truly a rock star. I am incredibly proud of him
because somehow I never completely lost it. Even when I was saying I couldn’t
do it and asking for the epidural he was supporting me and getting me through
the contractions. In fact the laboring was 100% better than with C’s birth.
Because I was at least trying to let her come down on her own and I did the low
moans like they tell you too and changing positions and such. We have exactly
zero pictures of the laboring process but he was exactly what a birth partner
should be.
And I am kind of amazed at myself. It’s hard for me to say
that I am proud of myself because that sounds so conceited but I am truly
amazed that I was able to let go of what I thought labor would be like. I truly
never intended to have a natural labor but I got one. I didn’t even swear, not
once!! AND I remembered to pray for the intentions of people. If I am being
honest, at the end I was praying for “people who read my blog” and not specific
intentions but there were some very specific intentions prayed for as well.
Some people feel empowered by natural childbirth. I have
been taking my time processing. Because it happened so fast I was not mentally
prepared. I didn’t even have time to adjust to the fact that I was in real
actual labor, much less delivering a baby. So even though my physical recovery
has been pretty easy (the worst part was the edema in my ankles and feet) I
keep going over the whole thing with Husband again and again. Asking the same
questions over because I just don’t remember. I couldn’t even have written this
without the labor timeline from Char and Husband’s input.
If I could do it all over again I would not have taken the
Ambien. I still don’t know if I’d remember more because it did happen really
fast and I was mentally focusing in the contractions more than I think I
realized at the time.
And that my friends is the story of M’s birth.
She was 10 days late but managed to show up in an hour and twenty-five minutes.
Precipitous labor is no joke.
