M's Birth Story

So I have been writing M’s birth story and when I got to my 8^th page in the Word document, I determined that no one besides me cares THAT much about the birth of my daughter. I present you with the short version. It’s still long. And it’s a story about birth. Fair warning.

It’s been one week and 5 days since M joined us in the big world. Things are pretty good. We’re starting to get a feel for each other and I have processed her birth. I know each birth is different and special, they tell you that. But I was under-prepared for how drastically different M’s birth would be from her brother’s.

On October 21 I was 41w2d and I was done. I had done everything the interwebs tells you can possibly induce labor except the castor oil. I had my freak out moments. I had my calm prayerful moments. And I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was coming the next day. (October 22.) When I realized a week prior that it would be Saint Pope John Paul II’s feast day I just had a sense of peace about it. It didn’t stop me from trying to make the baby appear sooner, but I knew.

I went to my appointment. I got my marching orders to report to the hospital at 5:00 that night for Cervidil and we’d start Pitocin in the morning. I got home about 11:30 and spent the rest of the day doing final cleaning, packing, phone calls and generally getting more and more excited. At one point, I felt a contraction. Not a super painful one but enough that I noticed it. We joked that now that we had threatened her with an immediate eviction she was going to do things her own way. After a busy afternoon we headed out for the hospital. We got there and had to go around the block to park because of construction. We laughed because we totally botched the hospital arrival with C too.

We checked in, got to the 5th floor and settled into our room. We did the whole blood sample and hep lock placement thing. Dr. Aronson placed the Cervidil at about 5:45 and I had apparently, since 10:00 that morning, dilated to a 2 and was 50% effaced. Not bad for feeling only one contraction. *This should have been a hint* Dr. Aronson was off and wished us good luck. She was on call from 7:00 AM Tuesday to 7:00 AM Wednesday so Dr. Steinus was going to be starting my Pitocin.

After we did the million questions and sign your life away portion of the evening we were left alone to marinate if you will. We watched TV, ate contraband sandwiches, chatted and just hung out. What else is there to do? At 10:15 my nurse Michelle came back in to offer me an Ambien. Our doula Char had recommended taking it to get good rest. We turned off the lights and it was rest time. I sent my mom a text message that I had taken my Ambien at 10:51, she told me to get some rest because I would need it.

Boy howdy.

Shift change was at 11:00. At 11:15 our new nurse Cim came in to meet us, at that point I decided to really try and sleep so she let us be. Husband was reading a book on his computer and turned on Gilmore Girls for me to listen to as I fell asleep.

At 12:50 on October 22 I woke up and I was not feeling well. I hurt and did not want to stay in the bed hurting. I called Cim to come in and let me off the monitors to use the restroom. When I was finished she put me on the wireless monitors so I could move around. I got my wish to labor in my own clothes and ditched the gown so I was in my shorts and a sports bra. Good move on my part. Hospital gowns are the worst.

Char had asked us to call when we were feeling contractions and needing help getting through them. Around 1:00 I asked Husband to call Char. He told me we should wait until 1:30. He was basing this on C’s super long labor where I wasn’t far along and begging for the epidural.  For the next few contractions I paced around and sat on the bed. I didn’t like that. So I kept moving.

I went through pretty much every position I could think of to labor in. I tried sitting on the rocking chair, cats and cows, and leaning over the bed with counter pressure on my back. Husband suggested I lean on him. I did that for a few contractions. Husband says my back felt really tense and shaky when he pushed on it.

At 1:19 I forced Husband to call Char. I knew I needed help, and that was the point of a doula. She told Husband she’d be there in 15-20 minutes. We dealt with a few more contractions while I leaned on Husband and I decided I would like an epidural. I went to sit on the toilet because I didn’t want to stand anymore but sitting hurt.

Char came while I was on the toilet. It was 1:30. I felt very erratic. I did not want to be in one place for very long. I told her I was going to be a bad doula patient because I wanted the epidural and she laughed. She said some sort of encouraging type of thing about getting through the current contraction and then we’d talk about it.

Husband asked Char about the birth ball. She went and got one and I sat on it and leaned on the bed. I was using my moans during contractions. Husband was consistently telling me not to tense up.  (Probably should have heeded that advice a little more.) Both Char and Husband were very good at encouraging my vocalizations because that meant I was not fighting the contractions. In the breaks between I would ask for the epidural and they would talk me down from that just in time for the next one to start back up.

At some point I expressed my disdain for the monitor because I was really hurting and the monitor was still barely showing contractions at all. Char told me not to worry about that but I was pretty darn sure I wanted an epidural and thought they wouldn’t let me get one if I wasn’t in real labor. Oh how funny that was.

I was HOT. Husband had wet a washcloth and that felt good so Char went to fill one of the puke buckets with ice water. I liked my cold washcloths during the contractions especially. 

My original goal going into the birth was to make it further in the laboring process before getting an epidural and that’s why I wanted a doula. Husband thought a doula was kind of unnecessary but is a “Happy Wife Happy Life” kind of guy. I was going to try and make it to a 6 before getting an epidural.

I really really wanted the epidural. In the peak of each contraction I had gotten to the “I can’t do this” stage. Char suggested we call the nurse to check me so that we could see where we were. At 2:00 I was checked and was 4 cm/80%/-2 and water bag intact. I asked if that meant I could have an epidural. I did not care about my 6cm goal anymore. When they told me I could if I wanted, I said that I needed fluids and offered my arm with the hep lock to her. Char told me I was a good patient. I am quite certain that Cim already knew I needed fluids but who’s going to argue with the crazy lady in labor?

Cim went to get the bag of fluid. While she was hanging the bag everything changed and I started, for lack of a better word, grunting with contractions. It was that whole “I need to poop” feeling. I didn’t say anything though, just kept grunting with the contractions. Husband describes it as a guttural scream. Because of that she said, “uh I better check you again.” At 2:03 I was checked again and was 7 cm. They called for Dr. Aronson to come in at 2:04.

This is where it gets crazy and hazy.

Because of the change in contractions the IV wasn’t hung right and I was getting wet. I said something and someone fixed that. Husband broke the news to me I wasn’t getting the epidural and that there wasn’t time for that. So I asked for the narcotic. Apparently, Cim started for the narcotic but decided to change the bed over. I wasn’t doing a very good job of convincing anyone that pain medication was the most important thing I guess.

They made me get out of bed so they could turn it into the delivery bed. Husband assisted with that. A bunch of extra nurses came in. Like way more nurses than I remember from last time. Including Lani who was our nurse with C. I didn’t even mention it at the time and I wish I had. There was also a funny Asian nurse. I have no idea how they were called. I haven’t a clue.

When I was allowed back on the bed all the nurses and Char (a former L&D nurse) asked if I was pushing. I was but I didn’t know it. Then they told me not to push. Char told me to blow like I was blowing out a candle. Husband made me look at him and blow on his fingers. I just stared at him and sometimes I blew. Mostly I didn’t. And then there was a baby.

No really. Just like that. Apparently at 2:12 M arrived, was caught by Cim who broke the water bag with the delivery of her head. She had a nuchal cord wrapped once around. Husband looked down and they were cutting the cord and they put her on me. I didn’t have her for very long. She cried for the first time while on my chest. They whisked her away to the warmer.  She was in shock. I was in shock. Husband was in shock. We had both completely missed it. M got a 7/9 APGAR.  She spent a lot of time on the warmer because her body temp was low.

Dr. Aronson arrived at some point and delivered the placenta at 2:35. This was the weirdest part of the whole birth process. They told me to push and I didn’t know how. Even though I had just had a baby. Because my mind wasn’t pushing, it was a completely physical response. So when they needed me to push I couldn’t even do it.

I got some Pitocin. I don’t remember that exactly. I don’t know if that was before or after Dr. Aronson got there. I would assume it was after. I also don’t know if it was because of bleeding or to help deliver the placenta. We can blame the hormones, the shock and the Ambien for my lack of clarity. The placenta was intact and healthy and I didn’t tear at all. I did however feel like I had been hit by a truck.

At some point they gave my baby back to me. She nursed. I ate too. I showered. We moved to postpartum by 5:00 am. Then we stayed our 2 days and went home.

It was kind of an unreal birth in many ways. Ideally my doctor would have been there but that didn’t happen. Some people have been annoyed for us that she wasn’t there. But really who would have anticipated that the people who were just supposed to be sleeping would up and have a baby in the middle of the night?

Husband was truly a rock star. I am incredibly proud of him because somehow I never completely lost it. Even when I was saying I couldn’t do it and asking for the epidural he was supporting me and getting me through the contractions. In fact the laboring was 100% better than with C’s birth. Because I was at least trying to let her come down on her own and I did the low moans like they tell you too and changing positions and such. We have exactly zero pictures of the laboring process but he was exactly what a birth partner should be.

And I am kind of amazed at myself. It’s hard for me to say that I am proud of myself because that sounds so conceited but I am truly amazed that I was able to let go of what I thought labor would be like. I truly never intended to have a natural labor but I got one. I didn’t even swear, not once!! AND I remembered to pray for the intentions of people. If I am being honest, at the end I was praying for “people who read my blog” and not specific intentions but there were some very specific intentions prayed for as well.

Some people feel empowered by natural childbirth. I have been taking my time processing. Because it happened so fast I was not mentally prepared. I didn’t even have time to adjust to the fact that I was in real actual labor, much less delivering a baby. So even though my physical recovery has been pretty easy (the worst part was the edema in my ankles and feet) I keep going over the whole thing with Husband again and again. Asking the same questions over because I just don’t remember. I couldn’t even have written this without the labor timeline from Char and Husband’s input.

If I could do it all over again I would not have taken the Ambien. I still don’t know if I’d remember more because it did happen really fast and I was mentally focusing in the contractions more than I think I realized at the time.

And that my friends is the story of M’s birth. She was 10 days late but managed to show up in an hour and twenty-five minutes. Precipitous labor is no joke.