Bullying

When I was in sixth grade we had D.A.R.E. (All together now, Drug, Abuse, Resistance, Education.) One hour every week.

It was a big deal. Booklets, stickers, worksheets, a coveted lion stuffed animal Daren that went to someone in each class for a week until the next visit from Officer Anderson. There was even a graduation ceremony. All the sixth graders in the district were bused to the high school auditorium. Speakers were chosen. (From my class it was Ashley P. I was jealous.) The D.A.R.E. tee shirts were worn by everyone. And the mayor shook our hands and gave us our diplomas.

There was even a graduation party at Skateville. Where all the proud graduates could skate and play games in a supervised capacity after school hours. I remember that evening vividly. I remember one of the songs during the "Snowball" (the boy/girl partner skate) was K-Ci and JoJo's "All My Life." (I still know all the words.) And that I rocked out/skated out HARD to "MmmBop." And during the hokey pokey I won a free pop. So like I said, it was a big deal.

And you know what? In all my years in this same school district and even well past that up to now, nobody has ever offered me drugs. Not even a cigarette. Which means, I have never, in the 15 years past sixth grade, had the chance to "Say No to Drugs." Okay I know that by not seeking out drugs that I was effectively saying no. But the slogan, and all the practice role playing situations in class never paid off.

I think someone, somewhere is going to start a bullying version of D.A.R.E. because the way the world tells us these days, drugs are not the biggest problem facing the youth of today, it's bullies. There will be the catchy slogans, and guest speakers. Probably a graduation ceremony and party of sorts. And you know what? It will be as effective as D.A.R.E. was for me.

People are awfully quick to judge things as bullying these days. This is not meant to be a "I don't believe bullying doesn't exist." post. I know that there are bullies. And sometimes it is severe. Occasionally however I think kids are just being kids. Middle school/junior high sucks. For everyone. Girls are teased. I was certainly teased and I was definitely not popular. And there were girls who were mean and rude. But, I survived.

In seventh grade there was a very weird scheduling thing that made my gym class the only group of seventh graders in Lunch 4. One gym class of seventh graders in a lunch room full of eighth and ninth graders. Want to know how that turned out? We were four tables, near the edge. Two girl tables, two boy tables, split by how athletic people were. Me and my table of 3 other girls, were certainly not popular. We were left out of jokes. We weren't invited to the parties the other kids were at. By today's standards, we were bullied.

I am still friends with one of the girls at my table. And you know what? One of the girls from the other lunch table was her maid of honor. Because seventh grade sucked but it is not an accurate representation of life. Are there some genuinely mean kids? Yes. Absolutely. But we may all be a little quick to call it an epidemic. Sometimes, it's just kids being kids. Learning who your friends are and aren't is a part of life. It might hurt your feelings as a child but it's real life.

Honestly bullies are bad. Horrible even. But that's the root of the problem. The real problem is suicide and why kids, teens and adults feel like there is no other solution to the bullying. (Or other contributing factor to the suicide.) Yes an authority figure should have stopped the bullying. But also shouldn't the bullied be able to say to someone, anyone "This hurts me so much, I don't feel like living anymore." There are very few people in the world, where no one would miss them if they were gone.

Perhaps our society should have a class on suicide awareness. How to reach out and ask for help. How to reach out and stop someone from making a choice that could very well be their last. How to recognize mental illness and get help. How to cope on the bad days. Perhaps teenagers accounts on social medias, instead of being littered with ads for things they don't need, should consistently see an ad to help them with their complicated, quick to judge emotions.

Saying no to drugs is one thing. Stopping people from bullying is good too. But keeping kids, preteens and teenagers from killing themselves on purpose seems a worthy goal. I know not all bullying leads to suicide but it can lead to mental duress or illness and that also needs to be addressed before it escalates into something more serious. Parents cannot control everything their children do. They can't even really stop their child from bullying. (They sure can try however and they should if there's a problem.) But they can intervene if someone is going to cause harm to themselves. They absolutely can and should.

The fact of the matter is I don't have the solution. Or the answers. But these are my thoughts on the subject. So while a D.A.R.E. like anti-bullying class is great, I think there's more to be done. And it might not be as fun and there may not be a skating party at the end. But what D.A.R.E. and this made up class have in common is they both want kids to stay alive.