What In the World Wal-Mart?

I don't regularly shop at Wal-Mart. 

It's not that I don't appreciate having a location with a million things at deep discounts readily available. But it's just geographically undesirable to our house. 

And has what I consider to be the absolute worst parking lot in town. I am convinced I am moments away from a car accident if I even glance too hard at the lot. Never mind driving in. It makes me nervous and I don't like it. 

But this weekend I got some targeted ads from Wal-Mart. Ranging from crazy to crazier. I have no idea why they thought I would be in the market for such things. Let's take a look at them shall we? 

Okay, so the first one was a commercial soft-serve machine. I do like soft-serve. But I don't own an Ice Cream Cottage so the point is pretty moot. 

Soft serve mix sold separately. 

The next thing Wal-Mart thought I'd like was the $29,990 tiny home kit. With a spiral staircase. 

Let me assure you that should I be interested in spending nearly $30 K it would not be on a tiny home kit. On top of that, it's not even a particularly cute tiny home. Though I do like the blue accent trim. 

Following that curiosity, is this lazy bed. I love sleeping. It's my favorite thing. But this just looks impractical.

Cozy, yes. But how would you clean it? Where would you put it? Is it meant to replace your bed and mattress altogether? Is it meant to come out when you have guests? So many more questions than answers. And I clicked on it... it's not even in stock. They flagged this ad as something for me to see and it's not even something you can purchase!

But then Wal-Mart followed up that bed/couch/pillow thing with a blender that looked old in 1986. It's the off-white color for me. I am pretty sure my parents had this blender. Seriously. 

I supposed everything old is new again. 

Let it be known, I know I am weird. But I always order drinks with no ice. I just don't like things to be too cold and as it melts it waters everything down. So Wal-Mart suggesting this nugget ice maker was funny too. 

You might remember for her 8th birthday, M got a countertop ice maker of her very own. She LOVES ice. And so does Husband. So this suggestion isn't the worst of the bunch but I personally am not that interested in it. 

Another thing I am not interested in: the 5 gallon bucket of pickles.

I honestly don't really care for pickles anyway. And I definitely would have no use for a 5-gallon bucket of them that needs to be kept refrigerated. I am not a restaurant. 

I genuinely don't think our yard is big enough for this inflatable waterslide/pool thing either. It does looks like it would be fun though!! 

But why is it in a desert? Who's running a hose out to this thing? This was the best landscape they could photoshop the slide into? Highly suspect. 

So Wal-Mart. What in the world are you thinking with your targeted ads? At least they were good for a laugh!